Saturday, May 2, 2009

Up and Down

I have been a bad blogger, because I've been feeling oh so sick. The nausea (but never actally vomiting), aversion to any smell, headaches and fatigue have been truly knocking me down. I have little energy to stand upright, let alone cook dinner or write a coherent blog post.

The symptoms are totally reassuring. I have been very glad to have them, since we haven't seen the babies for a whole six days, and this is when my last miscarriage happened. This afternoon, laying on the couch, and watching "Marley and Me" I got nervous. (MOVIE SPOILER HERE!) I forgot after reading the book that she goes to get her first ultrasound and finds there is no heartbeat, which is not what I (or many of you!) need to see right now. I sneaked a peak and my panty liner and there is a dot of blood. That red spotting never ceases to terrify me. Even though I had it last week and all was fine, and I know of a small subchorionic hematoma, I did not have it with my daughter, the only pregnancy I've yet to carry to term.

The ups and downs never end. We went from being nervous about twins, to accepting it, to spotting last weekend which led to an ultrasound revealing a third baby (!) but three strong heartbeats, nonetheless. Somehow, we've been less worried about early miscarriage than what the health of the whole triplet pregnancy will be, and whether or not we'll be advised to reduce the pregnancy. Now, I am back to the basic but overwhelming need for all the babies to be okay, each of my little children. Keep beating, hearts.

I just called my RE as I have not yet seen any of the MFM clinics and I know my RE will be there tomorrow. I am already going to one of the MFM's on Monday and will have an ultrasound, but I do not think my sanity will hold until Monday. I need to know what is happening and that they are okay in there. I need them to be okay.

Now I am waiting for the RE's office to call back (hopefully someone with lots of compassion) to see what they suggest. I would love to go in for an ultrasound tomorrow, as it is probably too late today. The roller coaster of emotions never stops.

Update: Heading to the RE at 8:30 AM for a scan to make sure all is well. Hopefully it all is... update tomorrow. Thanks for the kind thoughts!


  1. Great news about the exhaustion and sickness (!!!). I read a blog where someone is pregnant with twins and she realized her exhaustion made it all the harder for her to gain perspective and peace. I say rest, rest, rest. Just take it easy. You are multitasking by just breathing these days so you deserve to be treated like the queen bee you are.
    The best of luck with the three beans at the u/s - thinking of you all and sending you lots of peaceful thoughts.

  2. Sorry you are feeling so sick, but hooray for symptoms. Ditto the previous comment - rest, rest, rest! Thinking good thoughts!

  3. Good luck! I hope everything turns out fine and that all babies are just trying to scare their mom, as they always do.

  4. Rest as much as you possibly can. I can't even imagine being 50% more tired than I have been, but triplets must be more strenuous on the body than twins, right?

    No more new movies! Only movies that you are absolutely sure have no reproductive content at all from now on.

    Good luck tomorrow!

  5. I just read the latter part of your blog, and Oh. My. Word.! Triplets! Congratulations! I hope the appointment went well and that you're able to rest up for the duration of your pregnancy. Congratulations!

  6. hey....I came across your blog through a web of others and just saw where you said you have a subchorionic hematoma. I am currently pregnant for the third time and have had subchorionic hematomas all three pregnancies!! My dr. says that is pretty rare to have one more than once. My first pregnancy I didn't know about it until an u/s at 13 weeks when they told me it had reabsorbed into my body (My daughter is now 3 1/2). With the second pregnancy I started bleeding (very heavy) at 13 weeks and that is when they found it...I bled for over a month like I was on my period (my second daughter just turned 2) My dr. actually delivered the hematoma when he delivered my daughter. This pregnancy my back started hurting really bad at around 5 weeks and I went in and they did an u/s and all they found was a blood-filled sac. My dr. was sure my pregnancy wasn't viable and warned me that I may begin miscarrying at any time....when they got the b/w results everything seemed fine. Another u/s showed that the bllod-filled sac was actually the hematoma and we saw the baby 12 weeks there was no more sign of the hematoma. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and everything is going fine. I just wanted to try to ease your mind about that!! I hope everything goes great with your pregnancy and you bring home 3 perfect babies!!!

  7. Oh, man. We watched Marley and Me a couple of days after we got our positive, and it was brutal. The ultrasound scene, plus the whole movie ending pretty much reduced both of us to a pile of blubbering Jello. I'm so glad you're getting an u/s tomorrow, and hopefully the peace you need!

    And don't apologize for not blogging -- I know how bad my nausea's been, and I can't even imagine how it might compare to what you're going through with 3! Hang in there, and take care of yourself. Thinking of you and eagerly awaiting tomorrow's results!

  8. waiting for the good updates tomorrow!

  9. I'm standing by waiting for good results. I'm glad they're bringing you in.
    Hope everything calms down today and it's back to business as usual. The nausea is enough to contend with.

  10. Ugh nausea! I'd be like you and take it as a very good sign (I never felt that sick in my first trimester and it always used to bother me a little- in hind sight I'm glad I wasn't). I can't imagine the hormones coursing through your body with three babies.

    I'm glad you got in for a scan. I can't wait to hear about it.

  11. Oh, Carrie, I know how difficult this must be for you. I didn't mean to be glib with the thumbs up over the triplet pregnancy. But it's hard to convey the mixed emotions around such an event with a simple hand motion. It's great news, but it's also worrisome news, I know. I hope you know I have much good thoughts for you. Your attitude through all of this is remarkable and enviable. I would be an absolute basketcase under the same circumstances. Hang in there, you're doing great!

  12. Just so you know, my MFM told me that spotting/bleeding in HOM pregnancies tends to be a lot more common than in singleton pregnancies. So though it's difficult to not be alarmed, do know that it's probably normal, particularly in light of the hematoma.

    I had all-out bleeding (like as heavy as a period) for my entire first trimester with the triplets. It was awful. But obviously turned out just fine. :)

    And the exhaustion? SUCKS. I actually (LITERALLY) fell asleep in my soup bowl one night! Heh.

  13. same thing happened to us with Marley & Me. Except we had rented it in anticipation of our 5dt which was canceled the day of because of severely abnormal PGD test results on the embies. Both my wife and I had to turn off the movie and resume watching later because that scene really hit us hard.

    I didn't read the book, but was I ever mad there was a scene like that...I thought it was just a movie about a guy and his dog. Bad timing for sure.