I have been a bad blogger, because I've been feeling oh so sick. The nausea (but never actally vomiting), aversion to any smell, headaches and fatigue have been truly knocking me down. I have little energy to stand upright, let alone cook dinner or write a coherent blog post.
The symptoms are totally reassuring. I have been very glad to have them, since we haven't seen the babies for a whole six days, and this is when my last miscarriage happened. This afternoon, laying on the couch, and watching "Marley and Me" I got nervous. (MOVIE SPOILER HERE!) I forgot after reading the book that she goes to get her first ultrasound and finds there is no heartbeat, which is not what I (or many of you!) need to see right now. I sneaked a peak and my panty liner and there is a dot of blood. That red spotting never ceases to terrify me. Even though I had it last week and all was fine, and I know of a small subchorionic hematoma, I did not have it with my daughter, the only pregnancy I've yet to carry to term.
The ups and downs never end. We went from being nervous about twins, to accepting it, to spotting last weekend which led to an ultrasound revealing a third baby (!) but three strong heartbeats, nonetheless. Somehow, we've been less worried about early miscarriage than what the health of the whole triplet pregnancy will be, and whether or not we'll be advised to reduce the pregnancy. Now, I am back to the basic but overwhelming need for all the babies to be okay, each of my little children. Keep beating, hearts.
I just called my RE as I have not yet seen any of the MFM clinics and I know my RE will be there tomorrow. I am already going to one of the MFM's on Monday and will have an ultrasound, but I do not think my sanity will hold until Monday. I need to know what is happening and that they are okay in there. I need them to be okay.
Now I am waiting for the RE's office to call back (hopefully someone with lots of compassion) to see what they suggest. I would love to go in for an ultrasound tomorrow, as it is probably too late today. The roller coaster of emotions never stops.
Update: Heading to the RE at 8:30 AM for a scan to make sure all is well. Hopefully it all is... update tomorrow. Thanks for the kind thoughts!