33 Weeks!

Saturday night my husband and I were going to go out to dinner since the days of date nights are numbered, but around 4 pm, my uterus began to thwart our plans.

I started having contractions about every 3 minutes, and then they started to hurt. Not a lot, but enough that I didn't want to talk while I was having one. I took some Terbutaline which slowed them, but didn't stop them. Realizing this could be true labor, I called our MFM's number which automatically transfers to the answering service on the weekend. Usually. I tried it no less than 10 times and it disconnected me each time. I gave up and tried calling our hospital directly, and was also disconnected! Eventually we found a number that was not in their main network and someone transferred us to Labor and Delivery. After about 45 minutes of trying! Of course, they said to come in, but I had hoped to talk to Dr. P first.

When we arrived, they hooked me up to the monitor and only saw about 8 contractions and hour, and the babies looked wonderful! They were having good accelerations and great baseline heart rates. After the oral terb started to wear off, the contractions picked up again, this time more painful and longer. My awesome nurse checked my cervix and announced I was dilated to 2.5 cm and about 80% effaced. Not a huge deal, since I have had a child before, but we wanted to make sure it stayed that way. The nurse went off to call Dr. P and said, "Do you want to have them now? Sometimes doctors just decide your "done" and deliver." After we picked our jaws up off of the floor, we said, "We want to get to 34 weeks, and we are sure Dr. P will too."

When Dr. P came in she asked why we didn't call her and I explained the answering service didn't ANSWER! The nurse told us the entire hospital's switchboard had been down and that affected the service. Dr. P was a bit horrified and said, "Yikes! I hope it was not down too long..."

She agreed with us, of course, that she wanted to try to get to 34 weeks, and I received a shot of Terbutaline which stopped the contractions right away. They kept me overnight to make sure the contractions stayed away after the Terb wore off, which they did, and monitored the babies again in the morning. Dr. P used words I have not heard spoken by her: "gorgeous monitoring session for the babies" and "they look beautiful!" were phrases that set my mind at ease.

We left the hospital, happily, the next afternoon and I will go back tomorrow for a quickie ultrasound and NST. Then back for my LAST appointment on Friday and then three short days later, my sons will be born! There are just about seven days remaining until the big C-section. What's that? You want to know how many hours? Okay, 166 hours and two minutes. And you can figure we sleep 8 hours per day, so that is about 110 waking hours left!

So I am alternating between states of excitement, overwhelming gratitude, fear and organization. Really, you should see the closets around here. Tidy and labeled! In fact, I have been labeling everything. EVERYTHING. My daughter's toy bins, the boys' drawers, art supplies. (I am aware of the psychological implications here and that by creating order in my drawers and closets, I feel some control over the outcome of this pregnancy, but ANYWAY...)

Cases in point:









I become very annoyed when I cannot get things into a label-able category, as is often the case with my techie husband's gadgets, cords, chargers and nameless pieces of electronics. In this case I found something that fit:



Seriously, I should be a professional organizer, but I am willing to admit that I am only this good when pregnant.

No, I am not Bi-Polar

Here we are, 25 weeks and 2 days! 18 days until the 28 week mark! Thanks to everyone for the kind comments and encouragement after my meltdown yesterday. I wish I could say it was a good day, but I cried a good part of the day and felt more and more like I needed to have a better talk with Dr. P. My husband and I talked about the options and he came to lay in my bed with me last night to talk (after working all day and taking care of our daughter).

What I realized while talking to him, my mom and friends is that I want more than anything for these boys to be safe and sound and sound and born at a healthy, 30+ week gestation, and I also want to be with my family. I felt like I had to choose between these two things yesterday, and obviously am being as cautious as can be with the boys. My husband and I both decided I'd have to stay put unless Dr. P suggested that there was no need for it at this point.

I was so excited to talk to her this morning, but she ended up doing rounds late this afternoon instead. When she came in I was ready to communicate clearly with her, and get her opinion. It went something like this:

Me: Okay, I really want to be cautious and make sure they stay in as long as I can, but am I any safer here?

Dr. P: Not right now. Your contractions have been SO few the last couple days, and your cervix is stable. In fact (takes me off toco monitor) you don't need to be monitored anymore unless you feel a lot of contractions.

Me: So is it reasonable to measure my cervix again on Friday and do an fFN and if all looks the same I can go on strict bed rest at home?

Dr. P: Yes. If it is the same, and the fFN is negative, I will discharge you. You will have to be on more strict rest- no trips up and down the stairs, no walking around. Having you here is being extra cautious, which is fine, but it is not really necessary right now. I will check your cervix twice/week and if it shortens at all, you'll be readmitted.

Me: (Trying to be as explicit as I can) If all is okay on Friday and I head home, I am not in anymore danger of delivering early if I follow the rules and take my meds?

Dr. P: (Looking at me like I am kind of slow) That is right. I will schedule your U/S and fFN for Friday. We'll talk then. You should get to have your baby shower at home now!

Me: (Sniff, sniff.) THANK YOU! We should talk like this more often! (Not really, but that is what I was thinking.)

Who has a big grin on their face? ME! It was awesome to be reassured by her that I was not risking anyone's life by sleeping in a different bed. I will be taking the same meds and resting as much. I asked about home monitoring for contractions and she said since I've demonstrated that I know when I am having them, it is better to just call and be seen.

I feel so much better today! Now I know that if I have to stay (due to more contracting or a shorter cervix on Friday) that it will be necessary and if all is the same, I can rest at home, hopefully preserving a shred of my sanity.

The boys and I at 25 weeks. They have grown!



The physical therapist just came in and talked with me about the wonderful affects of losing muscle mass while bed resting and how to do some simple exercises. She also told me Kegel exercises can help strengthen the cervix and prevent shortening! True or not, I will be doing mine religiously now.

25 weeks!

(And one day, seven hours and fifty minutes.)

(And a meltdown! You knew it was coming after all of that positivity.)

This morning, I had an ultrasound and saw the growing boys. They looked perfect- their Dopplers were great (no signs of TTTS) and all three had nice strong heartbeats, even fluid and were practicing breathing! Both Dr. P and the sonographer said it is a great sign to see breathing movements already and they don't expect to see it until closer to 28 weeks. Good job, boys!

My cervix was 2.1 - 2.4 which is pretty close to what it was when I was admitted. The lower number has not changed and Dr. P was very happy with that. She said the new meds and increased rest seem to be keeping me stable here and she thought my cervix would make 28 weeks.

We talked about how long I'll be here most likely:

Me: So I am in for a while?
Dr. P: I thought I'd have to fight to keep you here!
Me: Well, I know how important the next twenty days are to get us to 28 weeks, and I really want to be safe.
Dr. P: That sounds very reasonable. Let's check in about it every week after we see your cervix and make decisions as we go. You contract less here, and you rest more than you would at home, so it makes sense.

Now, to the normal person, this conversation would seem to go great, right? Not for me: as soon as she walked out of the room I burst into tears. I called my husband who was in a meeting and dear friend to hash it out. What I figured out is that I wanted her to tell me I HAD to stay for the babies; that it was the best thing and I was doing a good job. I wanted her to remind me that although I was away from my daughter every day, I NEEDED to be here for the boys. Instead, I felt like I should've fought her, wanted to go home to be with my family, and damn, I am kind of a selfish woman. (Cool-ish bedside manner and hormonal lady don't communicate well...)

The thing is, I have children in two places and I want to be with all of them. Despite her frequent visits, Skype sessions and phone calls, I miss my daughter painfully, and I miss my husband. I hate being away from the place where their lives happen each day. On the other hand, A seems to be doing really well with all the change, and might even be happier than when I was at home but couldn't do anything for or with her. I think it was extremely confusing for me to be home, but not involved much. When she comes here, she can catch up with me, snuggle, eat and play here, and seems to have no confusion about why I do not come home with her. I am so proud of her.

I feel in my heart that this is the right place for the boys and me to remain until they are past that magical week. By then, my cervix may be down to not much or it could be the same, but either way, I want to know that I am doing every single thing I can to buy them these next three weeks. Hopefully, they will come quickly and I might be home again with my family at 30 weeks or more, knowing that the most important time of growth happened here.

Preview for tomorrow: the technology that gets me through the days and the techie to whom I am married.

First Impressions

Now that I have officially been an inpatient of The Hospital, a few notes and happenings:

My room is NICE! Nicer than many motels and hotels I stayed in as a young traveler, in fact. I have lots of light from two big windows, a fridge, a (teeny, tiny) television and DVD player, a table and chairs for guests and a day bed for someone to sleep on. The last item, however, my husband describes as less comfortable than a hard wood floor. When I offered to switch places with him, he quieted down. Honestly, he was awesome yesterday. He spent the whole time, from check-in to bed time with me, which was infinitely comforting. I see why some of my fellow hospital-bed-resters cry when family leave. It was so sad to know he was going home to our house, bed and family and I'd been here. They also brought in an art table and chairs, paints, paper and crayons for A. She left me several masterpieces on my bulletin board.

The awesome Dr. L, one of the neonatologists here, come to speak with us. Let me just say: I ADORED him. My mom, husband and A were all here getting ready for dinner, so our talk was cut a bit short, but he was amazing. He said, "I love to see when they bring people in at risk of preterm labor but NOT in labor as we can buy those babies more time." I reminded him about a thousand times of my negative fFN so we just focused on what the babies would face if born two weeks from now and beyond. He was so unbelievably positive and gave us SO much hope.

Because I asked about some of the scarier statistics, he said triplets born at 24 weeks usually have about a 46% chance of survival. Not at all what we want for the babies, of course. Between 24-28 weeks with triplets in particular, we go from about a 46% - 95% chance of survival! These next weeks are critical: each day buys them so much! While we continue to shoot for 34 weeks, it is awesome to have an idea of what to expect should things take a turn. He reiterated that he would come speak with us anytime, and answer any question we had. I kind of wanted to hug him, but I would've tripped over the toco monitor and probably given myself a concussion.

He said what we expect from babies born 27-28 weeks is that they will need some immediate respiratory assistance (intubabion, CPAP, etc) and temperature control. Those are first addressed in the delivery room and they are QUICKLY taken to the NICU. Then, they are checking blood gas levels and administering meds through and umbilical line.

We talked briefly about some of the more major problems: PDA's (problem with the heart valve), intestinal issues and feeding issues. He said all babies, up until 33-35 weeks are fed through a tube and they can start colostrum right away if they can tolerate feeds. I told him I am a huge breast feeding advocate and nursed A forEVER... he said it is the most important thing we can do for them, provide Mommy's milk. I will be the best pumper ever. :) He asked me twice if I was a nurse or physician since I was familiar with the terms and what to expect, and I said, "I am just on bed rest and read compulsively."

Today the doctor on call, Dr. W, came and chatted with me. He felt very confident we'd get past 27-28 weeks when viability is good since I have "so much cervix left" and a negative fFN. This kind of news really makes my day and the more docs who say it, the better. :) We do not want our babies born anytime soon, but very reassuring stuff to hear about 28 weekers. Again: October or BUST!