Friday, August 28, 2009
The view from my own bedroom...
How sweet it is to be at home!
Thursday morning looked bleak: I had not slept much at all and had dreamed that Baby C had died while inside me- I woke up crying, sweating and was even more homesick than ever. I knew Dr. P was maybe going to let me out on Friday and so I knew Thursday would be spent obsessing about whether or not my cervix would be okay, and if we would receive the great news of another negative fFN.
During morning rounds, Dr. P came in and asked how I was. I told her I needed to be broken out of this hospital if it was still safe for the boys. She looked at the blood shot eyes and heard my weepy voice, and decided to do the fFN and scan Thursday instead of Friday. (Insert angel chorus of "Hallelujah" here.) I almost burst into tears for the twelfth time that morning, this time with relief.
First piece of good news: the fFN was negative! For those of you who are not keeping track of each day of this gestation, that gets us to 27w4d- ALMOST 28 WEEKS!! Again, a negative fFN shows less than a 1% chance of going into labor in the next two weeks.
Then, I waited for my scan. Waited for about three hours, heart racing, silently imploring anyone listening to please let my cervix be the same. The sonographer who finally came to get me was, how do I say this nicely, inexperienced. When the wand went in, I thought it looked bad, but she measured it at 1.9-2.4. Monday it measured 2.1-2.4. It really seemed to me she was measuring it short, and she said, "No. That is right." I was sure any other sonographer would've had more length. She scanned the perfect boys and their pretty even fluid and called Dr. P to see if we needed anything else. Dr. P said, "Tell her she can go home and I will be over to discharge her." For the second time in a day, I almost cried with joy!
Dr. P: "You get to go home now! Sometimes it takes a few (or six, but who was counting) days in the hospital for people to really know what we mean by bed rest. Now you get it and you'll be good, right?"
Me: (Nodding repeatedly.) Yes, Ma'am.
Dr. P: I am very hopeful that you'll continue to be stable. The fFN is always so encouraging and your cervix was the same. That sonographer could've gotten you a few more millimeters, easy!
Me: (No shit!) I thought so too! What is the trend you see in cases like this? Will it just keep getting worse?
Dr. P: It usually sort of stair steps. Stable for a week, shortens, we try something else, stable.
Me: So you think we can get even farther now? 32-34 weeks?
Dr. P: I am hopeful, yes. Sometimes we have to take them due to IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction, AKA: they run out of room to grow) earlier than that.
Me: Right. (Did she just suggest that they might have to be taken, not because of imminent labor? SQUEEE!)
Dr. P: I need to see you every Monday and Friday. Enjoy being at home... for now. (Insert diabolical laugh and rubbing of hands together.)
Actually, she was pretty darn sunny, and is a wonderfully competent doctor. I feel unbelievably lucky to have her, but while I was in there I think she seemed like a prison guard. I know if I have to go back it will be because things have become more risky, and it will be the right place for the boys, but for now, I am thrilled to be home. I read stories to my daughter before bed from the couch, slept next to my husband and am looking out the window at the woods behind our house while the boys wiggle inside of me, safe for a while longer. Life is wonderful.