Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Crazies

As promised, here is the post quoting some of the most outrageous and offensive things I've been asked or told when people find out we are carrying triplets. *Important disclaimer: Even if I had to hear this hogwash every minute until our babies are born, it would be totally worth it. Just annoying.*

My favorite conversation came when my mom and I were at Gap Maternity buying some much needed warm-weather clothes that fit me. It has been in the 80's and 90's in our suburb of Seattle and pregnant lady is hot. After trying on lots of darling tops, my mom and I stood in the long line and finally were able to check out. The girl (I do mean girl) helping us was somewhere around twenty, and VERY chatty. Normally, I like chatty.

Chatty Cathy (CC): Look at all these clothes. You must have a baby in your tummy!

Me: (Answer stupidly) Actually there are three!

CC: Really? Wow! You are going to be huge! Was that a surprise or did you DO something to get them?

Me: Um, well, it was sort of a surprise...

CC: WOW! You are going to have your hands full. (To my mom) You are going to have to help out a lot!

Me: Anyway...

CC: Okay, well have a good day. I just have to say this is so amazing. Your babies are so much more special than someone like Octomom because they are NATURAL! KTHANKSBYE!

Me: Grrrr. (Mom leads me out of the store while I try not to cry.)

Clearly, an ignorant young'n, but still, hurtful words. Are IVF triplets unnatural? I think they are 100% baby, actually, you crazy wench. However, I completely asked for it by telling her about the triplets, and lesson learned. Don't share with strangers unless I am willing to answer questions and listen to sometimes-ridiculous comments.

Some other choice reactions:

-What are you going to do with all of them?? I get this one almost every day.

-Did you do fertility treatments? IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

-Hey, Octomom! I don't have to explain why this is obnoxious, do I?

-I love "Jon & Kate Plus 8!" So did I.

These comments are always strange, but again, I will take them for three healthy babies! Basically, I only tell people whose reactions I can predict, who know about my many miscarriages or our struggle with infertility. I am so grateful to have had so many people literally burst into tears with joy for us. It is amazing how much others have wanted this for us, and I didn't even know.

I am accepting any witty answers my faithful readers have for me! My triplet-mommmy-blogger friends all tell me it will only get worse when they are born, so I have got to prepare now!


  1. LMAO. thanks for the humor on both what is a sticky day here in Seattle and also the day prior to our WTF appt from failed IVF cycle #2. I can use a smile right about now.

    Say, since we're in Seattle, too, would you be willing to share your clinic/RE name - maybe offline? Let me know - would be interested. Haven't read all the back blogs, so might have missed if you already posted it.

  2. What are you going to do with all of them?!? Awesome. You could say "I don't know, but if I misplace one, I've got extras!"

    People are stupid. :)

  3. what r u gonna do with them? that is too funny. yeah, i know, people really don't think what they're saying sometimes, i've been there and heard lots of those pregnancy related weirdo comments :)

  4. LOL @ Barefoot's response! Loves it. People are insane and rude and ignorant. Unreal. I am jealous that you have a gap maternity!

  5. And it begins. :) I was at the vet with one of our dogs when I was about 4 months pregnant with the triplets and already looking quite huge. The receptionist asked when I was due, and I sheepishly admitted that I had quite a ways to go, but looked pretty big because it was three. The lady in line behind me snorted and called me an "overachiever." Huh?? People really do say the most bizarre things. I flipped that one around in my head all day before I decided that I just couldn't make any sense of it. I hope you continue to let the bizarro comments wash over you without spending an extra ounce of time or thought on them! Sending hugs your way~

  6. People really amaze me sometimes!!

  7. Wow, gotta love the "natural" comment. Lets give these morons the best of ourselves and say they good intentions!

  8. I would seriously write a letter to Gap corporate headquarters and get her reprimanded (or at least moved out of maternity into a different section). You probably have her name or at least ID # on the receipt. Worst case, nothing happens. Good case, she becomes more sensitive or at least isn't around pregnant customers anymore. Best case, you get free stuff!

    I would start out by saying, "Like 15% of people, I have struggled with infertility..." and pointing out how many customers she may be alienating.

    Just don't say "I'll never shop there again" because then they won't give you free stuff. I'd say something like, "It makes me reluctant to walk into your stores and deal with your associates, since they clearly have not been trained to deal with their clientele in a sensitive manner."

    I'm not the type who tries to get free stuff all the time, but if they're going to make you almost-cry, they ought to reimburse you.

  9. WTH!?! I can't believe the Gap girl! Young, or not, that is unreal. I would have wanted to slap her.

    And what are you going to do with them?

    Love them with all your heart, that's what you're going to do with them. Or use the replacement line...that's cute!

  10. Oh I've gotten a few good ones, too, and I'm only pregnant with one. I've gotten:

    "is it a good thing?"

    "oh, I'm the type that gets pregnant just by looking at me"

    "YOU tried for HOW long? THEN had to do IVF?! You're young it would have happened.."

    UGH! Some people can be so dumb.

  11. I did a post about this topic awhile back (and we're only expecting one) but the crazy and insensitive things people (including family, MOTHER IN-LAWS and friends) say are just ridiculous. I've just learned to smile, nod and move on. But somehow all those horrid comments stay stuck in my head...I wish I could purge them all! ;-) Come on people, just smile and say congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Ha! I'm a big fan of just laughing at other people. So I'd probably just grin and nod and then totally laugh my butt off. Whenever my husband and I go on vacation or somewhere and my 11-year old isn't with us, they'll ask, so, where is your son? We'll look at them and say - we locked him up in the closet, he'll be good for a couple of hours. haha..... of course, he's with a sitter...but I think that's a stupid question!

    Good luck! The babies are worth all the stupid comments ever! It's such an amazingly wonderful thing!

  13. Unbelievable...people can be so dumb! I can only laugh of the ignorance...I hope you do too...just brush it all off.

  14. Do what I do - SHOP ONLINE! Better selection, more sizes, no crazies. :) xoxo

  15. Perfect title for your post! These people are crazies. I am so sick of the IVF isn't natural bullshit. Sure the route to and the conception itself is quite scientific and full of interventions, the baby itself is quite natural. The only way you can make a baby still is with an egg and sperm and you can't get more natural than that. Oh well I agree with Lou's comment above, babies are worth all the stupid comments. Nothing else matters.

  16. Whoa, the Gap girl needs a smackdown, especially since she works in the maternity dept. I like Cassandra's suggestion. I about fell of my chair laughing at Barefoot's comment. Tucking that one away. I'm sure it'll come in handy at some point.

    I've heard *all* of these stupid comments and questions too. The worst ones are:
    "You'll be HUGE!"
    "Better you than me."
    "Do twins run in your family?" (this is just a prelude to the IVF question)

    The sweetest comment from a perfect stranger waiting in line behind me at the pharmacy was, "Triplets? Oh, that's so special. Congratulations." I was on a high for the rest of the day. If only everyone could take a page from her book.

  17. "No, they're not natural; they're made of a space-aged polymer"

    That's my favorite.

  18. A friend of mine is serving as a gestational carrier for my triplets that are due in mid-August. Someone heard I was expecting triplets and commented that I was too small and couldn't possibly be pregnant. I told them we ordered the babies online. They're expected to ship early August.