Monday, August 10, 2009

100th post: Good News and Bad News

23 weeks and 1 day... 6 days until viability! Good news and bad news today. How about good news first?

Good news:

- This is my 100th post! I cannot believe how quickly it came! :)

- After an extra visit to the MFM last week due to intense contractions, my meds were changed to a different form of Nifedipine and we added Terbutaline as needed. The Terb has (as I was told) some very icky side effects: shaking hands and a jittery feeling but nothing too terrible. Until today, the contractions seem to be less. This afternoon I have had more and had to take extra meds.

- The fluid levels on the babies have normalized! No signs of TTTS whatsoever. The twins had very good Dopplers today as well as more even levels of fluid. YAY!

- Drum roll please... I had a negative fFN on Thursday! WOOT WOOT! That means I have less than 1% chance of going into serious labor in the next two weeks (that gets me to 24w4d). We will repeat it again on Monday, but big sigh of relief for now.

- Their movements are so strong! I love to feel little feet kicking and rolling around- I can even see little feet sometimes. The boys are getting so big and strong, and remind me of how much I love them already.

Bad news:

- Today my cervix was shorter again. On Monday of last week it was over 3.1, Thursday was more like 2.9 - 3.1 and today was about 2.6 - 2.8. I could tell as soon as the scan was on the screen that it was shorter and immediately felt disappointed. I was so sure the meds were working that I did not expect it to have shortened at all.

- Dr. P came in and her first words were, "You are going to get yourself admitted here soon!" I had a feeling it was coming after seeing the scan, but she confirmed it. She said her best estimate is that I will be in the hospital on bed rest in the next two weeks, or as soon as my cervix shortens further or I get a positive fFn (hopefully not for a long time).

- These could be my last days or weeks at home. I am going to have a cervical measurement on Friday and she told me she may admit me then. If admitted, they would start steroids for babies' lungs at 24 weeks and monitor me closely.

- Obviously, increased anxiety (read: uncontrollable terror) at the boys coming WAY too soon. I know it will be after 24 weeks and I hope with all hope it will be after 28. Will my body hang on?

I suppose I should feel lucky that I made it this far without hospitalization, but the thought of being without my daughter's little voice and face each day shred my heart. I know so many of you mommies have to be away from your older kids while on bed rest, and I think it must be the hardest part. I am already frustrated that I can't put her to bed, give her a bath or go for a walk with her; but spending a whole day away from morning until night without seeing her little face, feeling her hands or kissing her forehead seems terribly painful.

Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do aside from resting and taking my meds like a good patient. I went over my activity with her and she said it seemed fine, but to try to go up the stairs less. She said it probably won't make that much of a difference, so not to stress out about it too much.

So the best case scenario has changed: now we hope that my cervix stays the same and I get to be home with my family for as long as possible. I want to be here with them so much, but I may not get to be for long. We hope my body holds on past 28 weeks, and the boys grow bigger and stay healthy. This is the most amazing and hardest thing I think I have done yet.

I will post a darling little Baby B's face and profile later as well as the LARGE 23 week belly shot. Thanks for all the support and cheers. I cherish every one of your comments.

41 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that it wasn't ALL good news, but it actually sounds like you're doing very well. My cervix went to less than 2cm at 20ish weeks and never went back up. It went as low as 1.2cm without pressure (lower with). I didn't deliver until 33 weeks. Please don't assume that your shortened cervix (still a respectable length) means your body isn't going to hang in there.

    You are doing great.

    The oral terbutaline is evil. The pump is much better - and studies show that the efficacy of the pump is much better, also. If the oral terbutaline isn't cutting it and the side effects are too great, ask your doctor about getting a terbutaline pump (usually not an option if you're in the hospital, which is stupid, but that's the way it is).

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hear ya girly....this hospital bedrest has been so hard. Praying we both get to 28 weeks and u get to stay home awhile longer!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry to hear the bad news :/ Stay in there boys!! You are not allowed to come out until at LEAST 34 weeks! (I'm shooting a bit higher than you are ;))

    Thinking of you and sending you powerful anti-contraction thoughts!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wanted to de-lurk to say that I have been cheering for you and the boys! I hope that your cervix lengthens a little more by your next visit and that the contractions slow down!! I am a few weeks ahead of you with just one boy and can't imagine three in there! Stay strong and enjoy every moment with your family. Hopefully you'll be able to continue your bed rest time at home and not in the hospital!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Glad for the good news - and hoping for the best. I can imagine how hard it must be to anticipate being away from your daughter - hopefully time passes quickly and the boys keeping holding tight for a few more weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Here's hoping your cervix doesn't budge an inch (or a millimeter for that matter...). Sounds like you and your doctor are doing everything possible.
    I know it sounds trite, but from someone who has been in a similar situation... hang in there.

    Pulling for you...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am looking over at my son right now, and I'm sad for you, missing your daughter. :( I'm sure that will be hard. Have someone put together a little photo album of her, so you can look at it in the hospital.

    Hang in there! You have the best care all the way around, and your sweeties are getting stronger every day.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, and HAPPY 100th POST!! Yippee!

    ReplyDelete
  9. So sorry your hospital bedrest days may be coming soon. We will come visit and promise to help keep A busy as well. You are such an amazing Mommy!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh sweetie... Well, the good news is GREAT, especially the fFN! That is just wonderful! But I know how horrible a decreasing cervical measurement can be. It just disappoints so much. But you are doing a GREAT job! Hospital bedrest will be tough, but if/when it happens, you will be a phenomenal hospital bedrest mama! The steroid shots will help out and I, too, hope that you go well beyond 28w. 32 would be great and, if they could keep you in the hospital and prolong your labor even further... How wonderful that would be.

    Fingers crossed and prayers for a much longer gestation for the boys!

    ReplyDelete
  11. OH Sweetie! I am tearing up thinking about you being away from your little angel. She will have lots of opportunities to come visit you though, right? I promise you she will be no worse for the wear and though I'm sure she'll miss you too, no permanent damage done. Except you might miss her so much you will do more online shopping. So maybe a *little* damage done. ;)

    So good news/ bad news but I think the good news is really great! TTTS is so scary and so are low fluid levels, so that is super that the balance has returned.

    BAD, NAUGHTY CERVIX!!! I think I feel a song coming on...

    I hate myself for loving you, can't break free from our weekly measurements!
    I want to walk but I can't because you're getting short, that's why I hate myself for loving yooooooou.

    Hang in there my dear. You know I am here to keep you company! Please take up knitting (I swear you can teach yourself online using YouTube videos). It will help pass the time and give you a good reason to swear! :) Happy 100th post!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  12. Happy 100!

    Fingers crossed that you can stay home as long as possible. Thinking ahead to the hospital, can you videoconference with your daughter on days when she can't come visit? She can visit sometimes, right?

    I hope hope hope that we both have autumn births.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Glad the fluid levels are back to normal on the ID's! Terb is not fun...I shook like crazy every time I had a shot of it while on hospital bedrest. Have also heard good things about the pump...might be worth checking into if it means getting to stay at home for a bit longer??

    Keep up the great work! I remember being exactly where you are and just begging my body to get to 24 weeks with a cervix that kept shortening and daily contractions. 24 weeks came and went so I looked towards 28...then 30...then 34. I made it and so can you!! I even had a + FFN at 31 weeks and still didn't deliver until 34 weeks.

    Michele - BBB 15 Months (2ID's/1Fraternal)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your good news is great news and your bad news is kind of par for the course, isn't it? Hoping everyone cooperates for many more weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just found your blog. Congratulations on your pregnancy and triplets. I have had secondary infertility and the Terbutaline pump which usually ended up with me having mag. I am still on Nifedipine even now for my high bp. What great news on your neg. ffn test. I hope to catch up on your posts and get to know you. Congratulations again on your pregnancy and also your 100th post. I did not see an email addy listed. Praying for you and your babies.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hang in there!!! Praying that your cervix doesn't get any shorter so you can spend many more weeks at home with your little girl. I understand so much when you talk about how hard it is not to be able to bathe her and put her to bed etc etc... I am feeling those same emotions with my little girl. You are not alone!!! The big 2-4 will be here before you know it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am praying for you, Carrie - for a stubborn cervix that doesn't give an inch (or mm) and for peace for you so you can enjoy every moment you have now without worries of what comes next. Counting down to viability still allowed, of course! I am counting with you.

    I had a friend who was pregnant with triplets, due a week after we were. She went into the hospital before 24 weeks due to a shortened cervix and did well, then delivered at 29 weeks exactly on 6/24. Her boys are doing great and should be coming home from the NICU soon. If I were a betting girl, I think you are going to pass 29. :)

    Hugs, Kerry

    ReplyDelete
  18. Happy 100th post!! I'm sorry not all of the news was good today, but I'm so glad to hear that the TTT is gone and that you'll be hanging on at LEAST until 24 weeks.

    I'm sending a few stern mental words towards your cervix, and hoping things stay put for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Happy 100th post! Sending you lots of love! It's going to be tough if you have to be admitted, but she will be OK. Doesn't make your heart hurt any less, but it's true. Sending your cervix a dirty look! Tell it I said to behave! Glad the boys are doing well and rolling around for you. Way to go boys!
    *HUGS*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh hon... I'm sorry that it wasn't all good news, but the good stuff is really really good! I think we all need to have words with that rebellious cervix of yours again (it worked last time right?). Happy 100th post!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers!

    I know it's hard to think about being in the hospital and away from family, but it some ways it can be a huge relief. The nurses and doctors will take great care of you. Adeline is welcome to come and visit. The nurses will set up special things in your room for her like a little table with coloring books. They'll let her take bubble baths in the jetted tub in your room. They'll bring her chocolate milk and the snack man who comes around each night around 8pm will give her cookies and ice cream...our boys missed me, but they have fond memories of visiting me in the hospital. We had them come pretty much every day.

    It does make it much easier to be on full bed rest and at least for me, I loved hearing Zephan's heart beat ALL THE TIME. So have Charlie pack up your favorite pajamas. Bring lots of chapstick and lotion. Have people bring you snacks and dinners when you get sick of hospital food. The hospital serves oatmeal nearly every day, so bring whatever you like on oatmeal (my boys brought me a container full of brown sugar, dried cherries and walnuts, yum!). I think the nurses can help you set up an in-hospital pedicure or massage. Make sure your doctor writes orders to have the physical therapist come. Bring your own pillow and blankets. And, obviously, your laptop...there is wireless internet at Evergreen. We even brought in my espresso machine. After a few days of hospital (decaf) coffee, I wanted my own! And speaking of hospital food, there is a new chef at Evergreen and the food is pretty good. You can order from the patient menu, but you can also order from the grill menu. My favorite thing for lunch was the gardenburger. They will have a nutritionist come and talk to you to make sure you are getting what you (and the boys!) need.

    There is a community room where you could have a shower or family and friends could come to have a meal with you. Depending on how you are doing, you may be able to have Charles take you down to the lobby or at least for some fresh air in a big recliner on wheels. There are lots of books about preemies as well as magazines and movies you can borrow.

    The worst part of hospital bedrest is the drugs they will probably give you to stop labor, but at least for me, the mag sulfate worked when nothing else did.

    And remember, every day you are in the hospital is 2-3 less days the boys will be there.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey lady - take one moment, one day at a time. So much is uncontrolable at this moment. And your daughter will totally understand that Mommy needs to be healthy and the babies need to be healthy too. Keep your feet up! Fingers crossed your cervix stays at its current size! Take care of yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I completely understand your anxiety, but it sounds as though your news was ALMOST all good! I'm so, so thrilled to see you approaching viability, and like you I absolutely know you'll make it to 24 weeks, and hopefully 28 and beyond. Start putting together your reading list for the hospital bedrest--in fact, let me know if you'd like a box of books sent your way! I'd love to send something to make the days go by just a tiny bit more quickly...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hold on babies, hold on!! You are in my thoughts and prayers honey! ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sending prayers and hugs from St. Louis, MO!!! I know you and the boys will hang on and make the best of this!!! We are all here for you!!!

    Hugs!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. That is some very good news...and there's lots of good advice and encouragement from mom's who've been there with triplets. You're going to make it through this, and likely make it past 28 w (silly short cervix be damned)!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well, you did get a lot of good news at your appt. But we know how hard it is to focus on that. . . :)

    One piece of not so good news- your cervix. Just remember, you've been worried about this one in the past, and it has corrected itself before. I'm confident with the increased rest that your cervix will cooperate. Your doctors sound so proactive. You are in good hands.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yeah for the good news and sorry about the bad. Hang in there. ((((hugs))))

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am so glad to hear the fluid levels evened out!! At least the contractions are being controlled somewhat with the medication too. The cervix measurements are always scary-I hold my breath at every week when they measure mine. Hopefully it'll stop shortening and you'll be able to stay home longer with your daughter. I believe you will make it way past 24 and 28 weeks with your positive attitude and doctors/meds. At least you'll be able to relax (a tiny bit) in 6 days! I'll join the mini-celebration in 7 days! Keep up the good gestation work! :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. That's great about the fluid level! I think your cervix is just playing games again.. it wants everyone to pray for it again and then the next time it gets checked it will be back to normal:) You keep hanging in there and doing what you are doing! I'll be thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Great good news! And happy 100th! I am praying that you get to stay home for a few more weeks atleast and your (and your babies) hospital stay is short! You daughter is a strong (just like you) big sister and she is going to be just fine! You will be one big happy family soon... and that's what matters! Lots of hugs and warm wishes your way. Love to the big sis! Keep us posted!

    ReplyDelete
  32. You don't know me but I have been following your blog. I had my twins at the same hospital that you are at and they are awesome! We probably have/had some fo the same MFM docs. I went into labor at 26 weeks with my twins after a long battle with preterm labor. I was admitted at 27 weeks and got the steriod shots and ended up on mag. Guess what? After 2 weeks in the hospital everything settled down and I got to go home. I didn't have the babies until 33 weeks when they told me to stop the terb because the babies deveopled irregular hr's. My babies were born breathing room air. I owe everything to God, the MFM team and of course NICU nurses. Rest assured that you are in great hands at E! You and your babies are in my prayers

    ReplyDelete
  33. Here from LFCA. Thinking of you and hoping that those little ones hang in there for several more weeks and that you get to stay home for as much of that as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Happy 100th! What great news about the fluid levels, TTTS and fFN, but my heart sank when I read about your cervix continuing to shorten, and the contractions. I'm checking in on you often, and praying with you that we get to 28+ weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Wow - so much going on. I'd be overwhelmed and I'm in awe that you're hanging in day by day doing the best you can for your family. What a challenge. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you whatever the outcomes.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I continue to pray for you and hope those babies stay cookin!

    ReplyDelete
  37. AND....We are still waiting for that LARGE 23 weeks belly shot Carrie! lol.

    ReplyDelete
  38. And Carrie, are you taking any Magnesium supplements? They are supposed to do wonders to calm down the uterus. 800mg/day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. Carrie, Best of luck to you!!! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and loved your story. Ladies like you have really inspired me, so I have started my own blog to help process this journey. Please stop bye www.romancingthestone.wordpress.com : ) Shell

    ReplyDelete
  40. Carrie ~

    I'm so sorry that I'm just now getting caught up on your update...

    Yay for 100 posts, active boys, and good fluid levels! :)

    Your cervix, on the other hand, needs to smarten up! You and your family are always close in my thoughts and prayers.

    Keep cookin' babies, keep cooking!

    ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hi Tubeless, I am not subscribed to this site but I follow your blog every day. My name is Tosha I am 31. I too had a tubal problem after regular pregnancies and had to turn to IVF. My husband and I have to girls and they are getting older and we wanted to try once more for a boy but whatever we get will be great. Found out we had tubal problem anyway long stroy short we end up turning to IVF. It was a great experience for us. We got pregnant the first try. First BETA 211, 2ND 465, 3RD 3104 So found out at 5weks and 2days that its twins!!! I'm excited and scared to carry two. I just wanted you to know that you really inspire me.That is why I wrote you this note. You are brave to be carrying 3 little babies. I am praying everyday that they stay as long as possible. I go back to the Doctor this Thursday to see if the hearts are beating yet. I will be 6weeks and a few days. Doctor also said that one of the babies might decide to split and I immediately thought of you. I'm hoping not, but whatever God gives me I am ready. Just hope I can be as brave as you. Anyway good luck and I will keep reading. Thanks for the inspiration :) Tosha

    ReplyDelete