Friday, March 6, 2009
Please Go to Your Zen Place
Tonight is the night that I have been waiting for since November. No, I am not talking about Prom; stimulation drugs begin! I am so happy to have finally passed the suppression check (E2 below 20 and no functional cysts) and be ready to go. They told me that it is "amazing" that my E2 went from 608-20 in a few short weeks. Hey, what can I say? I wish I could take credit, and assume that all the obscenities that I directed to the cyst helped, but really it was probably the birth control.
I am finding a few unexpected emotions today. I thought I'd be on top of the world, and I AM so happy to start, but I am also realizing that THIS IS IT. This is our cycle, one we hope is perfect and productive, and it starts TONIGHT. I am looking at my calendar of Wanda Visits (ultrasounds) and blood work, shot schedules, instructions and feeling a bit overwhelmed. Even though I understand it all, and could recite the "10 Step IVF Process" in my sleep, I have come to a decision. I am going to take this one day at a time. Do I sound Zen-ed out yet? I am trying to be mindful of today, focus on what is happening in my body now, and trust that tomorrow will take care of itself. OM... or something.
So today, I will start my stim drugs... I might have to watch the videos again to make sure I am mixing one up right, but I think the pen would be hard to screw up. Also, according to this fun little tool, I am 3 days pregnant. And that is enough for today.
How do you deal with the process? A day at a time, or are you a big picture gal?