Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Ways in Which I am Like a Hippo

1. The bloat. Oh, the bloat. After I was all sunshine and rainbows about the paracentesis and how I felt so much better, I literally ate my words. It is back, it is bigger and it hurts. They measured my "girth" and weight today, both of which are up, and my ovary is palpable and ginormous. Have you noticed if you rearrange the letters of "OHSS" you get "HOSS"? No accident. I look about 5 months pregnant and am hiding my belly which looks quite pregnant, under puffer vests and large sweat shirts, but I am not that big to begin with so it is painfully obvious. If it were not for low-rise jeans, I'd be in my maternity ones. The doctors told me today that since my beta has gone up again to 862, and the pregnancy seems healthy, we have at least a few more weeks of OHSS fun before it starts to get better.

2. I am hungry. Like a hungry, hungry hippo. Generally speaking, I have a huge sweet tooth and love all things cookies, candy and baked goods. For about the last week, all I want is SALT. I have been eating delicious dill pickle/cheese/mustard sandwiches at least once a day, with Pringles smooshed in the middle. I am disgusted with myself. I tried to eat a cookie today, and almost threw up. What is happening to me? I don't know, but I need a salt lick, STAT.

3. I am cranky. If someone even gazes in the general direction of my midsection, their head might be torn off. I hate to hide my tummy, but know how huge I look. I don't want one of my neighbors thinking I am 7 months along, because, honestly, we've lost a lot of babies. We are not ready to share (except with the Internets, apparently). It is so frustrating to be in pain, unable to parent as I usually do, and basically told that there is nothing we can do. I like solvable medical problems, and this has no solution... except time and (gag) Gatorade.

4. I am thirsty. (Seems like hippos are thirsty, always hanging out in water.) I am on a liquid restriction, which helps to avoid too much fluid in the cavity, so I am limited to 4 glasses of Gatorade per day. YUM. All I want is a steamed non-fat milk with vanilla or a diet orange soda. But nooooo.

5. I complain a lot. Okay, I don't know if hippos complain, but I sure did in this blog. FORGIVE ME! Am VERY grateful to be pregnant today, and hoping the baby stays for nine months!


  1. Oh this sounds so so painful....I hope it passes soon!

  2. I love the hunrgy hungry hippo reference.

    All the sucky stuff sucks.
    But with everything, it will pass..

    I'm glad your sharing with the internets, coz your story is one of great courage and strength :)

  3. Beautiful beta...woo-hoo!

    I'm sorry that the paracentesis only gave you one day of relief.

    Thinking of you.

  4. I just got caught up with your last few posts.

    Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you. The pregnancy part of course. I'm definitely not happy that you have OHSS. I've become a little paranoid about it myself, but so far seem to be okay.

    Sending positive thoughts that your little one(s) continue to grow and thrive.

  5. Are you also dangerously aggressive with razor sharp tusks?


    Darn. Way to get a girl's hopes up.


    Still sending truckloads of sticky vibes your way. Glad to see you in good spirits despite the obvious discomfort.

  6. I'm sorry the paracentesis wasn't that much of a help. But congrats on the great beta! I hope the OHSS settles down soon.

  7. Goodness, this all sounds miserable. I feel most bad for you on the Batorade thing -- it's gross, and being thirsty is the worst.

    So glad to hear that your beta was so great, though. Hang in there!

  8. I hun, I am sorry. I know what you are going through... It does get better! ((HUGS))


  9. OMG!!! CONGRATS!! I am just getting caught up. I am so happy you are PG, but soooooo sorry about the OHSS. Love the post though! Feel better hon!